I know what you’re thinking: Linda Breitman! Where have you been?
I need to tell you I’ve been in a fiery trial. And I had to take a long, unexpected time out.
A giant came out of nowhere, and I had to fight it.
Up until a few years ago, I routinely prayed for cancer patients. For nearly 8 years, I was the “in office chaplain” at an integrative medical clinic where the patients received insulin potentiation therapy (low dose chemo IVs) and high dose Vitamin C IVs for the treatment of cancer. Both modalities are non-traditional and effective. Week after week, I sat with patients from all kinds of backgrounds: Jewish, Christian, agnostics, atheists, Mormons, New Agers, and Muslims. Love and compassion took over my heart. I witnessed people get healed, and I saw people give up. I was there to confront cancer and give it a big smack-down!
Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would happen to me.
In March, 2015, I had a lumpectomy. The lump was malignant, and the edges were not clear. Cancer cells were found in two millimeters along the perimeter of the tumor, requiring a second surgery to remove surrounding tissue. In April, more tissue was removed and sent to two pathologists—there were no cancer cells!
Right now, so many precious people are going through great trials, severe difficulties. It’s not easy. It’s an all out war. I will tell you that many times my go-to prayer was short: “Jesus, help!” That’s it. When it feels like all the forces of hell were breathing down my neck, there was no time for a long, drawn out prayer.
I am emerging this season not only leaning on Jesus, but also having found a new identity. Trials come to transform you. This one has transformed me. I am seeing my life, ministry, even how I approach God, through new eyes and a changed heart. It feels like my heart is enlarged with an increased capacity to love.
I opted for prophylactic treatments, and I chose a non-traditional route (not the recommended radiation!) of low dose chemo IVs plus high dose vitamin C. I will tell you more in future blogs, but today I want to hit two targets because many reading this are going through tremendously difficult experiences. I have two primary keys to share with you.
FIRST KEY: Rest and Just Be A Person
When trials come, we spend a lot of time wondering WHAT WE DID WRONG and WHAT WE NEED TO DO NOW, when most of the time He is simply telling us to REST in Him. In June 2015, I said, “Lord, what do you want me to do?” He said, “Just be a person.” Hmmm, I wondered. How do I do that? So, I read six James Patterson crime novels. And stayed quiet.
It may look different for you. You may not read novels. Maybe you will get quiet and listen to worshipful music or unload all your thoughts on paper and journal. But the main point is for you to REST IN GOD’S ARMS OF LOVE.
SECOND KEY: Trust and Move Forward
When we are in a trial, WE KNOW WE HAVE GOT TO TRUST GOD. It is not always easy when we face foreboding circumstances and symptoms. A week later, I said, “Lord, if you wanted me to wake up in the morning and not be thinking about ministry, it worked. But here’s the thing: I don’t know if I can find my way back!” He answered, “I don’t want you to find your way back. I want you to find your way forward.”
This is FOR YOU! Trials are not designed to push you back. They compel you to move forward into unchartered territory that you can GET TO ONLY BY WAY OF A TRIAL! God is transforming you, and a NEW YOU IS EMERGING!
I still do not know how I am going to look. I still don’t know how the call on my life will play out. What I DO KNOW is that God is good, that He loves me and that He never leaves me.
This is a trust walk. A lay-down-all-your-works trust walk.
I love you! You are an overcomer!
I really want to hear your comments and what’s going on in your life, so please comment below or email!